IT IS A SHITTY JOB, BUT SOMEONE HAS TO DO IT

Police in the Canadian province of Ontario say they are holding a man who is accused of swallowing a $20,000 diamond as long as it takes for him to produce the evidence. It has been nearly a week since Richard Mackenzie Matthews, 52, is alleged to have switched a diamond at Precision Jewellers and swallowed the real one. Matthews has been held at police headquarters while they wait for the 1.7-carat stone to pass through his system. Sgt. Brett Corey said Thursday that Matthews has gone to the washroom numerous times, but the diamond hasn't passed. Corey says a recent X-ray showed a pair of fake diamonds, or cubic zirconiums, stuck in the man's intestines but because a diamond is translucent, it isn't visible. He says the suspect is eager to get the ordeal over with and is co-operating. In the early stages, Corey says Matthews was being given laxative type foods, but is now being fed whatever he wants, in an effort to get things moving.