ONE MORE FART, AND I WILL SHOOT

New Jersey – Daniel Collins was apparently flat-out tired of his neighbor’s flatulence and decided to raise a stink with the help of his trusty firearm.
Police in Teaneck, N.J., said Collins (Picture), 72, had been involved in an ongoing dispute with the unidentified neighbor for some time, but Collins got really gassed when the man passed gas near Collins’ apartment door, NJ.com reported.
Collins allegedly pointed a revolver at the flatulent neighbor in the vestibule of their apartment building and said “I’m going to put a hole in your head,” according to NorthJersey.com.
When police arrived, Collins denied the threat, but consented to a search. Authorities recovered a .32 caliber revolver from his vehicle.

A TRIM AND SOME MONEY, PLEASE

Suffolk County police arrested a Brentwood man who they said robbed a beauty salon after a failed attempt at robbing a bank. Police say Anthony Jannace, 54, handed a teller at a Bay Shore Citibank on East Main Street a handwritten note demanding cash at 12:30 p.m. When the teller refused to comply, police said Jannace left the bank. Police said Jannace entered the Salon Astarte on West Main Street in Bay Shore, less than a half-mile away, at 1:55 p.m. and verbally demanded cash from one of the employees. She complied and gave him cash from a drawer, though police would not specify how much. At 3:24 p.m., Suffolk County Police Canine Officer Mark Sacco located Jannace on Mechanicsville Road in Bay Shore and arrested him. Jannace did not display a weapon and was located after witnesses gave officers a physical description.

WAL-MART POOP

Arizona – A Chandler man is accused of defecating on the floor of a Walmart store after trying to steal a beer bottle, Chandler police said. Tomas Arenas, 56, was at Walmart near Pecos Road and Arizona Avenue in Chandler at about 5 p.m. when he grabbed a beer bottle and walked out of the store without paying, police said. A loss-prevention officer stopped Arenas and brought him back inside. Arenas began yelling at the officer before pulling down his pants and defecating on the floor in front of many customers, police said.

JERRY'S KIDS NO MORE

Following guilty verdicts on 45 of 48 counts, Jerry Sandusky was shipped off to Centre County Correctional Facility, the same facility he was initially held in December. According to a fellow inmate at the time, known only as Josh, Sandusky was on the receiving end of some a cappella ridiculing. Other prisoners were barred from communicating directly with Sandusky, but they could see him. And when the lights went out, inmates serenaded the disgraced coach with a famous line from Pink Floyd’s “The Wall.” “At night, we were singing ‘Hey, teacher, leave those kids alone,’ ” Josh said, adding that everyone knew who Sandusky was because inmates had access to television and newspapers.

OH YES...., HIS BUTTOCKS WILL BE RAW IN A WEEK!

LOVES HER SON

California – A woman who made a sex tape with her teenage son after they were reunited after 15 years apart claims their relationship was not incest – but a case of ‘genetic attraction’.

Mistie Rebecca Atkinson, 32, was sentenced to four years and eight months behind bars in Napa County Superior Court, California. It came after she was found in a Ukiah, California motel room with the 16-year-old boy, who had recorded his mother giving him oral sex on his phone.
‘I don’t feel like I should have the charge of incest because there is something called genetic attraction that is a very powerful phenomenon that happens to 50 per cent of people becoming reunited with a long-lost relative,’ she wrote.

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oBAMA IS PLEADING FOR MONEY INSTEAD OF YOU GIVING GIFTS

Washington DC – It has come to this, Obama is so desperate for cash that he wants you to give him a donation in lieu of guests giving wedding present and gifts to children for their birthdays.
Got a birthday, anniversary, or wedding coming up? Let your friends know how important this election is to you – register with Obama 2012, and ask for a donation in lieu of a gift. It’s a great way to support the President on your big day. Plus, it’s a gift that we can all appreciate – and goes a lot further than a gravy bowl. THIS IS TRUE, BELOW THE ACTUAL WEBSITE LINK

THOUGHTFUL PARENTS OR HUNGRY FISH?

MAINE TOWNSHIP, Ill. — A 18-month old is recovering after losing part of her finger to the family’s pet piranha. According to the Pioneer Press, the child’s mother reported she heard her daughter crying and noticed the toddler’s finger was bleeding, the fingertip missing. At first, the woman says she assumed the family pit bull had bitten the girl. But police determined the piranhas, swimming in a fish tank near where the child had been playing, may have been responsible.

Police said the child’s father cut open one of the piranhas, and found the missing piece of his daughter’s finger.

WWJD-CERTAINLY NOT THIS

Houston – A couple who were formerly pastors at Bethel Institutional Missionary Baptist Church in southeast Houston are in jail on $800,000 bond, each charged with mishandling more than $200,000 of church money. Charles Gilford, 58, and Adriane Gilford, 53, who were indicted by a Harris County grand jury, were arrested on charges of theft and misapplication of fiduciary property, according to online law enforcement records. “Over that three-year period of time as fiduciaries there, they were able to take that total of $430,000 from that little Baptist church,” said Amy McCauley with the white collar crimes section of the Harris County District Attorney’s Office.

VERY TERRIFYING SCENE

A 400-pound woman was arrested Wednesday afternoon after being found by police sitting in the buff on a bus bench in Fort Lauderdale, police said. Patricia McCollum, 52, was charged with exposure of sexual organs in public and was initially being held on a $100 bond. McCollum has a long record list of petty offenses, according to court documents. McCollum, currently homeless, was found nude on a bus bench at 3900 N. Ocean Blvd and claims she was just trying to change her clothes, according to the arrest report filed in the case. "That's why I was changing my clothes on the bus bench. I don't have anywhere else to stay but bus benches," McCollum said during a first appearance court hearing Thursday. McCollum, who was using a walker to stand, currently collects Social Security disability checks, according to her statements in court. According to police, McCollum has been  observed and warned by several officers in the past about similar behavior.

MORE ZOMBIES

PALMETTO, Fla. - The latest in a string of “zombie” like attacks happened in a Manatee County home Wednesday night after a man under the influence went into a fit of rage and bit a piece of someone’s arm off during a visit with his children. Much like the Miami face-eating attack, 26-year-old Charles Baker got naked, ate human flesh and wouldn’t go down without a fight, according to a Manatee County Sheriff’s Office report. Authorities say Baker went to his girlfriend’s home on 25th St in Palmetto to visit his kids at 10:15 p.m. They say he was high on an unknown substance when he knocked on the door, then barged in, began yelling and taking off his clothes. He was screaming and wouldn’t calm down, then began throwing furniture around the home. Jeffery Blake, who lives in the home, attempted to restrain Baker, but the suspect bit him, taking a chunk of his flesh from his bicep. Blake, 48, was able to get Baker to the ground and kept him there until two deputies arrived. When law enforcement came inside, Blake released Baker. Baker got up, but would not respond to deputies orders. The suspect instead faced the deputies, tensing his body, clenching his fists and screaming. Baker, still naked, acted like he was going to rush the deputies, according to the report. Deputy Wildt deployed his an electronic control device after giving a verbal warning. Baker fell to the ground, and then tried to get back up, so Deputy Wildt deployed the device again. Baker pulled the probes out, so deputy Blake deployed his electric shock device. Those probes were also pulled out, and Deputy Wildt deployed a second cartridge. By this time, several other deputies had arrived on scene and were able to hold him down and handcuff him.

Baker was taken to Manatee Memorial Hospital for evaluation before being transported to the jail.

NAKED SHOPPERS

Germany – Hundreds of naked shoppers flocked to a new German supermarket offering free groceries to customers willing to get their clothes off. They camped outside the new Priss supermarket in Suderlugum, North Frisia, in the hope of being among the lucky first 100 promised free groceries. Police, photographers and a bemused supermaket manager Nils Sterndorff witnessed the strange scenes at the supermarket opening. Customers wandered between the aisles studying shopping lists in nothing but their birthday suits.

NAKED AND EATING ICE CREAM

HOUSTON – A woman was found naked and eating ice cream inside a drug store after leaving three children alone in a car after a wreck, investigators said. Stephanie Dillard, 34, has been charged with endangering a child. Houston police said Dillard’s children, ages 5, 12 and 16, were in the car with her when her vehicle collided with a METRO bus near South Post Oak and Orem. Detectives said that after the wreck, Dillard got out of the car and walked away, leaving her children alone at the scene. Dillard then went to a nearby CVS store and began taking off her clothes as she ate ice cream, police said.

THIS REALLY STINKS!

California – A skunk wandered into a California restaurant and bit a woman dining there on the foot, St. Mary’s animal control officers said after they shot and killed the animal. The county health department reported that tests showed the skunk was rabid. The staff at the Cheeseburger in Paradise restaurant put a box overtop of the skunk after the 3:30 p.m. incident, according to county officials, and an animal control officer used a catch pole to retrieve the skunk from under the box and take it to an area near the restaurant’s parking lot, where it was shot with a .22-caliber rifle. Maryland’s department of mental health and hygiene alerted the county health department that an examination of the skunk’s brain tissue determined that it had rabies, a spokesperson for the health department said, and the injured restaurant customer was notified of those findings.

LITTLE CRIMINALS

SOUTHPORT, Fla. – A Florida Panhandle man is in jail after allegedly holding six children at gunpoint for turning their off-road vehicle around in his driveway. The Bay County Sheriff’s Office says the children, ages 4 to 16, told investigators that Jerry Lee Fulcher pointed a gun at them when they turned their ATV around in his Southport driveway. The sheriff’s office says Fulcher ordered them to put their hands on their heads then told the oldest to call his mother. The mother called 911 after retrieving the children. Authorities tell The News Herald that Fulcher also called 911 and said he brandished a gun while detaining the children.

HE REALLY LOVES HIS TEDDY BEAR

Cincinnati, Ohio – A man was arrested for the fourth time for having sex with a teddy bear in public.

Charles Marshall, 28, received a citation for masturbating with the stuffed animal in an alley near the Elm Street Health Clinic in Cincinnati, Ohio, it has been revealed. This is the fourth occasion since 2010 that the man has been arrested for pleasuring himself with a teddy bear. Marshall has a history of arrests for having sex with teddy bears in public. For three similar incidents in the past, Marshall served short stints in jail and paid small fines for misdemeanor convictions, according to The Smoking Gun.

GRAVE CONCERN

BUENOS AIRES—An Argentine widow was spending days in the tomb of her husband who died two years ago, having set up a bed, Internet access and even a small cooker next to his coffin, officials told AFP Thursday. “Police found Adriana Villareal had carried out some work in the tomb where her husband’s coffin was. She had a radio, a computer, Internet, a chair and a small cooker,” said local police commissioner Gustavo Braganza. She even greeted policemen in her pajamas when they went to check out what was going on in the San Lazaro cemetery in northeastern Dos de Mayo.

“They could see the coffin and the embalmed body,” he added, referring to the husband, Sergio Yede, who died in 2010 aged 28. Villareal, 43, who lives in the capital Buenos Aires, told police she visited her husband “three times a year and stayed three or four nights there and cooked herself something.”
“When you love someone, you do all sorts of things.” “My husband deserved it and still does,” she added. “Someone who can sleep next to a corpse is probably not quite right,” added Braganza

STOP THAT BIKER!

(06-18) 06:45 PDT Brockton, Mass. (AP) -- A Massachusetts man is facing charges for allegedly attacking a bicyclist with sausage links and a wrench before making off with jewelry and the bike.

Police say Michael Baker is scheduled to be arraigned Monday on charges including assault and battery with a dangerous weapon in connection with the Sunday morning attack. According to The Enterprise, the victim told police his assailant at first started swinging a string of sausage links at him before hitting him with a wrench. The victim was hospitalized. Police say Baker was caught a short time later with the bike and a wrench. Police later found that sausages and other food had been stolen from a food stand at the Brockton Fairgrounds.

WHO'S YOUR DADDY?

JAIPUR, India (The Blaze/AP) — File this one under “disturbingly gruesome.” Police say a man upset over his daughter’s lifestyle chopped her head off with a sword and then paraded it through his village before surrendering to authorities in western India. Marble miner Ogad Singh’s 20-year-old daughter had been living with her parents in the Rajasthani village of Dungarji after leaving her husband two years ago. Police Superintendent Umesh Ojha says Singh was upset by his daughter having affairs with men, and became enraged when she eloped with one of them two weeks ago.
Ojha says Singh forced her to return home Sunday, and beheaded her Monday with a sword.

BIRDS

MOTIVATIONAL POSTERS

WHO BITES LIPS OFF OF KITTENS???

Never leave your kittens in the care of this man.

Police say Angel Vega Roman, 28, was left in charge of some kittens while the owners -- his roommates -- went away for a few weeks. They came back to Kitten Karnage. Vegas is accused of choking one kitten to death and biting the lips off another, Oreo. Oreo's ears were also burned, and police say Roman did it with a lighter.

EVEN DISNEYLAND ISN'T SAFE

John Philip "Phil" Oldham, 68, from New York, is accused of exposing himself to two little girls, age 7 and 9, at pool at Animal Kingdom Lodge, a Walt Disney World swimming pool, reports the Orlando Sentinel. The 9-year-old told an investigator that Oldham had his trunks pulled up to his waist on one side and something that looked like a "dog chew toy" was hanging out, according to the report. The 7-year-old told her family that she saw a man with his "private" out of his swim shorts, the report states. When she tried to swim away, the girl said, the man followed her, according to the report.

HOOD ORNAMENTS

BRIDGEPORT, Conn. — A man was accused of fleeing a hit-and-run accident with the victim still attached to his fender and fighting to get free. A van driven by Frank Rega struck a 23-year-old woman who was standing in front of a disabled car in Bridgeport on March 15, police said. The woman became stuck on the driver's side fender, but Rega drove off, even as she was yelling at him and hitting him in the face in an attempt to get him to stop, police said. She eventually fell off the van, struck the roadway and suffered a head injury, police said. She was treated and released from St. Vincent's Medical Center. Rega, 56, of Monroe, faces numerous charges including reckless endangerment, reckless driving, evading responsibility and driving under the influence of drugs or alcohol, the Connecticut Post reported (http://bit.ly/Lmjt67). He was released after posting a $500 bond. Monroe police arrested Rega at his home. As they were handcuffing him, he told officers he had acted in self-defense, police said.

YUMMY!!

JOPPATOWNE, Md. — A Morgan State University student has admitted to investigators that he consumed the heart and part of the brain of a man who was found dismembered in the student's home, The Baltimore Sun reported. Alexander Kinyua, 21, has been charged with first-degree murder a week after Kujoe Bonsafo Agyei-Kodie, 37, went missing. The two men apparently shared the home in Joppatowne, an unincorporated area just outside of Baltimore, the Sun reported. Kinyua is an electrical engineering major at Morgan State and was involved in the university's ROTC program until January. Late Tuesday night, Kinyua's father notified police that his son, Kinyua's brother, discovered human remains in the basement of the house. A human head and human hands were found in metal tins, the Sun reported. Other remains were found in a Dumpster near a church. Kinyua was ordered held without bail at a court appearance this afternoon.

LUNGS??

LOS ANGELES (Reuters) – Authorities said on Monday that a pair of lungs had been found on a Los Angeles-area sidewalk and that coroner’s investigators were trying to determine if they were from a human or an animal. The organs were found by an unidentified person on Sunday night in an area just outside the city limits, Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Sergeant Pauline Panis said. “It’s at the coroner’s office right now and they are trying to ascertain if it’s human or animal,” she said. A coroner’s spokesman could not immediately be reached for comment.

SATAN'S WARRIORS

The SituationCambodia is a source, transit, and destination country for human trafficking. The traffickers are reportedly organized crime syndicates, parents, relatives, friends, intimate partners, and neighbors.¹
Source
Cambodian men, women, and children are trafficked for sexual and labor exploitation in Thailand, Malaysia, Macao, and Taiwan.² Men are trafficked for forced labor in the agriculture, fishing, and construction industries. Women are trafficked for sexual exploitation and forced labor in factories or as domestic servants.³ Children are trafficked for sexual exploitation and forced labor in organized begging rings, soliciting, street vending, and flower selling. The Ministry of Social Affairs and Youth Rehabilitations found that 76 percent of trafficked persons returned from Thailand had come from families who owned land, 93 percent owned their own house and had no debt on the land or house, and 47 percent stated that their mother was the facilitator of their trafficking.⁴
 Cambodia is a destination country for women and children who are trafficked from Vietnam and China for sexual exploitation. Common destinations for trafficking victims are Phnom Penh, Siem Reap, and Sihanouk Ville. A 2005 report estimated that 2,000 victims in Cambodia have been trafficked into sexual exploitation, approximately 80 percent of whom were Vietnamese women and girls.⁶ ECPAT Cambodia reports that as many as one third of the trafficking victims in prostitution are children.

"I was sitting across from a nurse friend here in Cambodia. We were having lunch together. She works in a poor neighborhood close to the river. She was telling me about work and updating me on some of the families we mutually know and updating me on how the children of those families are doing."

"Her mother has already told me when she turns 12, she will sell her." my friend's voice drifts off as she looks down at the table.

"I also sat in silence trying to comprehend what she just said, feeling helpless to know what to do."

"A decision has already been made. We have two years. Two years before this little girl turns 12."

Two years before her mother will decide sell her to a brothel.

THIS IS A DAILY CONVERSATION IN CAMBODIA

MEN WHO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THESE CHILDREN ARE EVIL, WE ALL MOST AWAKE AND BE AWARE OF THIS SITUATION!

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BARRACK oBAMA LOST SELF PERCEPTION

STUPID PEOPLE

CROOKED ASSISTANT PRINCIPALS

NEW YORK, June 7 (UPI) -- A pair of assistant principals at a New York school were each fined $25,000 for keeping more than $20,000 worth of theme park tickets meant for students.

City officials said Assistant Principal Richard Gilberto and Assistant Principal Derric Borrero of IS 24 kept the Great Adventure tickets, which were each worth $64.19 but marked "complimentary," after they were donated to the school for use by students, the New York Post reported Thursday.
Officials said Borrero gave 25 of the tickets to his brother, who sold them for $30 each on eBay and told an undercover investigator he had access to the tickets every year. Schools Chancellor Dennis Walcott described the penalties as "one of, if not the largest fines issued against individuals in a conflict-of-interest case. I took this very seriously."  

NOW YOU KNOW WHAT IS REALLY TAUGHT IN SCHOOLS!

NEED I SAY ANYTHING MORE?

GREEN LANTERN IS NOW A GAY SUPERHERO

(CBS/AP) Green Lantern, one of DC Comics' oldest and enduring heroes, is coming out as gay. The change is revealed in the pages of the second issue of "Earth 2," out next week, and comes on the heels of what has been an expansive year for gay and lesbian characters in the pages of comic books from Archie to Marvel and others."He doesn't come out. He's gay when we see him in issue two," which is due out Wednesday. "He's fearless and he's honest to the point where he realized he was gay and he said 'I'm gay.'" In May, Marvel Entertainment said super speedster Northstar will marry his longtime boyfriend in the pages of "Astonishing X-Men." DC comics has other gay characters, too, including Kate Kane, the current Batwoman. And in the pages of Archie Comics, Kevin Keller is one of the gang at Riverdale High School and gay, too.

THIS WHOLE THING IS JUST TOO GAY!!!!
I GUESS THAT IS WHY HE LIKES WEARING TIGHTS.......

TRUTH

IF oBAMA WINS AGAIN

PORNO I-75

> Posted by Barbara Hijek on June 1, 2012 07:22 AM

Deputies responded to a report of a woman wearing only a pink shirt and exposing her private parts while masturbating in public under an I-75 overpass in Ocala, according to an arrest affidavit from the Marion County Sheriff's Office.
The woman, later identified as Ashley Lynn Holton, then pulled up the pink shirt and her
bra to expose breasts and vagina to the deputy and motorists passing by in cars, according to the arrest record.

The 35-year-old Troy, Alabama woman resisted attempts to place handcuffs on her wrists by twisting and turning both her arms and body. Once handcuffed and placed in a patrol car, she then reportedly began kicking the patrol car windows, the report stated.
When a deputy opened the patrol car door to tell her to calm down, Holton allegedly kicked the deputy's leg.
A witness told the deputy several cars honked at Holton's vulgar performance, which only seemed to encourage the defendant to continue. The witness estimated Holton had been exposing herself for 30-40-minutes before the deputy had arrived, according to the report.
As you can imagine, traffic was impacted.
Another witness told the deputy traffic had backed up as numerous cars did illegal U‐turns to watch.
At the jail, when a female correction officer with inmate clothing tried to put pants on Holton, she kicked the officer and then bit her her on the arm.
Holton reportedly called the bite a "love tap".
The 5'4" 138-lb. woman from Alabama then continued her XXX-rated show at the jail, resisting officers by spreading her legs and exposing herself and telling the officers to kiss her — before biting — or rather love tapping — two other officers, the report states.
Photo: Marion County Sheriff's Office

THIS LITTLE PIGGY GOT LOST GOING TO THE MARKET

(05-30) 13:42 PDT Pittsburgh (AP) --
Motorists have reported a sharp-dressed pig running loose on a highway just outside of Pittsburgh. State troopers also spotted the animal but failed to catch it before it scurried off into the woods.
The pig is wearing a scarf. The sightings were reported between 8:30 a.m. and 9 a.m. Wednesday just west of the city on Interstate 376, known locally as the Parkway West.
State troopers from the nearby barracks in Findlay Township spotted the pig, but couldn't catch up to it.
Police say the pig appeared to be a baby and confirmed it was wearing a scarf. Police don't know why that is or who may own the animal.

CRIMINAL DISPOSAL OR DINNER?

Canadian conservation officers have euthanized a black bear that ate the remains of a convicted murderer. British Columbia Environment Minister Terry Lake said Monday the bear's description matched that of one seen guarding a cache that contained the remains of Rory Wagner, 54. Examinations of fur at the scene as well as teeth and claw marks confirmed the bear that was euthanized is the one that ate the remains. Lake said the animal was put down because bears remember food sources. Officials suspect the bear pulled Wagner's body from his car after he died on a remote logging road. Wagner pleaded guilty to second-degree murder in 1994. He and two others were charged with a killing a man who they believed had sexually assaulted a family member. He served his prison time and was released. Wagner, who was living in Kamloops, British Columbia, was reported missing May 23. Police said his death was not suspicious. Hunters found the site last week. Regional coroner Mark Coleman said it is not yet known how Wagner died. Coleman said an autopsy showed the man was dead before the bear got him out of the car. Coleman said toxicology results to reveal how Wagner died would not be complete for several weeks. Royal Canadian Mounted Poilce Sgt. Grant Learned said Wagner was on life parole and had been living in an approved facility in the city. He said Wagner had attended work May 21 and said he wouldn't be coming in to work in the following days. When he failed to show up at his residence May 22, a warrant was issued for his arrest. His body was found shortly after.

EXTREME TORTURE

A new documentary alleges that detainees at Guantanamo Bay were "tortured" by being forced to listen to songs from Sesame Street for day on end. The documentary's claims are backed up by a 2008 Associate Press report, which found that several songs, including the Sesame Street theme song, were used as part of the detainee interrogation process at the U.S. detention facility at Guantanamo in 2003. Military officials at Guantanamo did not directly confirm or deny the report, only saying that they were not "currently" in use.

CRAZY POT LADY

HOENIX (Reuters) – A marijuana-smoking woman was arrested on Saturday in Phoenix after she accidentally drove away with her five-week-old son in a child safety seat on the roof of her vehicle, police said. The baby fell off the car in the middle of an intersection and was found unharmed and strapped into the seat, said Phoenix police spokesman James Holmes. The mother Catalina Clouser, 19, was booked into jail on child abuse and aggravated assault charges, he said. The infant was taken to a local hospital as a precaution and is in the custody of state Child Protective Services.