KITTY LETTERS

SALT LAKE CITY (AP) — A Utah man is accused of violating a protective order because he allegedly sent letters to his estranged wife's cat. Authorities say 32-year-old Ronald Charles Dallas, of South Salt Lake, was ordered not to contact his wife, who is the alleged victim in a domestic violence case against him. Prosecutors allege Dallas mailed 11 letters from jail that were addressed to her cat Molly Judge and a neighbor, but were intended for his wife. They say the letters asked her not to testify against him. Dallas now faces 11 counts of violation of a protective order and two counts of tampering with a witness. His court-appointed attorney, Trent Ricks, says he couldn't comment until he speaks to his client.

FATTY, FATTY, 2 BY 4, CAN'T GET THROUGH THE AIRPLANE'S DOOR

Modified: Saturday, Jul. 24, 2010 - 9:56 am
Southwest Airlines made headlines earlier this year for kicking overweight actor-director Kevin Smith off a flight because he took up more than one seat. Now we're hearing the airline recently removed a 5-foot-4, 110-pound Sacramento-area woman from a plane so a hefty passenger could have an extra seat. The incident happened last week on an early-evening Southwest flight from Las Vegas to Sacramento. The local woman was flying standby, paid full fare for the last available seat, got on board, stowed her bags and sat down – only to be told she would have to deplane immediately. The reason? A late-arriving passenger required two seats because of her girth. The Sacramento woman, a frequent-flying sales rep, was stunned. "It didn't seem right that I should have to leave to accommodate someone who had only paid for one seat," she tells us. (She has asked to remain anonymous for fear some may regard her as insensitive.) She's even more miffed because she says Southwest personnel berated her when she questioned the decision to boot her from the plane.

NOW DON'T YA KNOW THEY ARE TREATED AS A MINORITY.

REAL BILLBOARDS

DOG TAPE NOT DUCT TAPE

(AP) BOULDER, Colo. (AP) - A Colorado woman convicted of taping her boyfriend's dog to a refrigerator has been sentenced to 30 days in jail and three years' probation. Twenty-one-year-old Abby Toll was sentenced Friday after she was convicted of felony animal cruelty in April. She could have faced up to 18 months in prison. Prosecutors say Toll used hair ties and packing tape to bind the snout and legs of her boyfriend's 2-year-old Shiba Inu (SHEE'-bah EE'-noo) named Rex, then taped the dog upside-down to the refrigerator. Police say Toll told them she was getting back at her boyfriend, Brian Beck, for paying more attention to the dog than to her. Beck pleaded guilty to misdemeanor attempted animal cruelty and was given a one-year deferred sentence. Another family has adopted the dog

OH PORKY, SAY IT ISN'T SO

(AP) GURNEE, Ill. (AP) - Police said authorities at Six Flags Great America ejected two off-duty employees from the theme park after they allegedly attacked a female colleague dressed as "Porky Pig." Gurnee Police Sgt. Jon Ward says two young men took a photo with Porky on Monday afternoon, and then punched the mascot in the head 10 to 15 times. Ward said park security detained the men until police arrived. He said the men wereissued local ordinance citations for battery. He said the suspects denied the attack, but witnesses confirmed the story. The 24-year-old woman inside the mascot costume suffered headaches and a stiff neck.

TOO BIG TO FLUSH

"An Indian woman gave birth to a baby in the lavatory of an international passenger plane and tried to dispose of it down the toilet, media reports in New Delhi said on Thursday. The infant was found stuck in the toilet after the plane landed in Amritsar, northern India, and was rushed to hospital still attached to the toilet bowl, police and doctors told the Press Trust of India news agency. HP Singh, a doctor at the Escorts Hospital near the airport, said that a team of surgeons used a saw cutter to remove the newborn's head from the toilet.  The 22-year-old mother was reported to have left the plane when it landed, and was later arrested in the airport after the cabin crew on the Turkmenistan Airlines flight found the baby. Doctors at the hospital said the infant was in a critical condition. Newspapers reported the mother was an unmarried medical student returning home after completing a degree abroad. The origin of the flight was unclear, though the Indian Express said it had taken off from the city of Ashgabat in Turkmenistan."

LET'S TRY TO FLUSH THE MOM!!

FUNNY GREEN MAN SPOTTED AT SUPERMARKET

(CBS/AP) Boulder police didn't need a detailed description of the suspect they were seeking. The city’s local newspaper, The Daily Camera, reported that the police responded to a call Wednesday of a man dressed as a leprechaun leaping in and out between cars in a supermarket parking lot. Police Sgt. Fred Gerhardt says witnesses said the man was pretending to shoot at people with his fingers and may have made obscene gestures. But officers didn't find anyone matching the suspect's description. Gerhardt says this is the first time Boulder police have received a complaint about a leprechaun.

What can I possibly say to add to this?

POOR BIRD

AP) DUBLIN (AP) - Kelli the penguin's back home in Dublin Zoo after pranksters snatched the bird and abandoned her on a city sidewalk. Dublin Zoo condemned Thursday's theft as no joke, because the 10-year-old Humboldt penguin could have been injured during her abduction or crushed by a vehicle. Zoo officials said police tracked down Kelli using a signal from a microchip planted on the bird. She got the medical all-clear and was returned to her penguin partner, Mick. Police said the thieves climbed over a security fence into an enclosure housing about a dozen Humboldt penguins and picked Kelli for reasons unknown. Dublin Zoo has been targeted by annoying pranks before. In 2008, its switchboard was overwhelmed by callers asking to speak to Rory Lyon, G. Raffe and Ana Conda.

I DON'T THINK YOU ARE IN THE ANTARTIC ANYMORE, SMALL ONE.

AND YOU THOUGHT HAIRBALLS WERE BAD

NEW PORT RICHEY, Fla., July 3 (UPI) -- A Florida woman was jailed after allegedly assaulting her girlfriend with a feces-filled cat litter box, authorities say. New Port Richey police said Kristin Stiehler allegedly attacked Rachel Switzer Wednesday after Switzer refused to give her Roxicodone pills, the St. Petersburg Times reported Friday. Stiehler allegedly broke through their bedroom door, picked up the litter box and went after Switzer with it. Police said Switzer wound up with cat feces on her face, hair and ears, and cat litter coating her hair, the newspaper said. Switzer alleges she also was slapped and choked by Stiehler. Stiehler was being held without bail in the Land O'Lakes jail, charged initially with domestic battery by strangulation while authorities investigate whether additional charges are warranted, Capt. Jeffrey Harrington said.

GET OUT QUICK, KITTY!!

BIG BANG THEORY

ISLIP TERRACE, N.Y., July 4 (UPI) -- A New York man had his left arm blown off Saturday evening by fireworks he was firing from a launcher in the street outside his home, authorities said. Eric Smith, 36, of Islip Terrace was hospitalized in serous condition, the Long Island Press reported. Smith was using a 3-foot-long metal tube to set off the illegal fireworks about 5:45 p.m. when one round hit his arm, Suffolk County Police Department detectives said. Friends placed his severed limb on ice and transported it with him to the hospital. Doctors were expected to try to reattach the arm to Smith's body, the newspaper said.

LEAVE IT TO THE PROS, GOOF BALL!

SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD COOKED GOOSE TO ME

VANCOUVER, British Columbia, July 2 (UPI) -- Some Canadians have expressed shock at an Oregon town for gassing 109 Canada geese and giving the meat to homeless shelters. City leaders in Bend, Ore., ordered the culling of the birds with carbon dioxide, leaving them safe to eat, and the meat was sent to area homeless shelters, CTV.ca reported Friday. Residents of Vancouver, British Columbia, expressed shock at the city's actions, with some walking around Stanley Park describing the culling as "barbaric" and "crazy." Aaron Jasper, head of the Vancouver Park Board, said he was surprised by the decision. "We don't take the approach of culling them. I think, if there's deemed to be a bit of a problem with the population, our staff will identify the nests, and we'll shake the eggs, and that's how we address the issue of overpopulation," Jasper said. 

WHAT IS THE ALTERNATIVE? USING TAX PAYER'S DOLLARS?? GIVE THEM GROUND HOG SAUSAGE AND GEESE EGGS FOR BREAKFAST!
IT WAS A NUTRITIOUS MEAL, WHY COMPLAIN. OR, SHOULD WE LET THEM TAKE DOWN ANOTHER AIRLINER; THEY ARE FAR FROM EXTINCTION!

GOING OUT WITH A BANG

DAYTONA BEACH, Fla., July 3 (UPI) -- A Florida man's ashes are to be dispersed the way he would have wished -- in a Fourth of July fireworks display at his lakefront home, his family says. Ann Moore told The Daytona Beach News-Journal that after her husband Tom's sudden death in May she knew he should be cremated and the ashes scattered at Lake Disston. "It just came to us, a Fourth of July party, sending him off in a rocket or a burst," she said. The couple bought their house on the lake about 20 miles northwest of Daytona Beach in 1972 and named their son Disston. For many years they held large Independence Day picnics there, although they ended the tradition almost a decade ago. Tom Moore's friends will gather Sunday for one last picnic. Santore & Sons, which supplied the fireworks for those picnics, packed Tom Moore's ashes into a variety of shells. Ann Moore said her husband liked making people happy -- and now she is giving him a chance to do so again.


THINK ABOUT COVERING YOUR HEAD??

OH..., IS IT 50

DALLAS — Next weekend, when you see the red, white and blue proudly displayed for Independence Day, take a closer look. President Eisenhower set the standard for all American flags 51 years ago. The order requires 13 stripes and 50 stars on a field of blue. Tim Childress had to double-check when he unfurled Old Glory — he got more than he wanted. Large or small, the American Flag is supposed to be flown with pride, a symbol of our nation. The seven red stripes represent hardiness and valor; six white stripes stand for for purity and innocence. There's a blue field for perseverance and justice. And, of course, 50 stars for each of the 50 states. That makes Tim Childress' flag something other than American. "You can kind of see the stars are all crooked, and if you count them, there's actually 61 stars," he said. Childress counted several times. He multiplied rows and columns. He counted them one-by-one. Every time, it added up to 61. So he went back to the Dollar Tree store where he bought the plastic flag and sent an e-mail message to the Virginia marketing company. "I kind of let them know there are 50 states in the United States, and they need to correct this — or at least get the Chinese supplier to correct this," Childress said.
Yes, it's a plastic flag, and it only cost a dollar, but Childress argues this is not just another decoration at a discount store. "They can do that to Santa Claus; do what they want, change his face. But this is the flag, and it needs to stay that way," Childress maintains.The Dollar Tree assistant store manager wouldn't comment on camera, but said the flag is sold as a "patriotic banner" — not as an American flag."

NOWADAYS, IS THIS REALLY THAT SURPRISING? AFTER ALL, obama THINKS WE HAVE 57 STATES BASED ON A COMMENT HE MADE DURING HIS CAMPAIGN SPEECH.